There’s much to be said for the joys of working from home and I for one applaud the use of computer technology to allow me to do just that for AMB Cote d’Azur.  I am also rather pleased to say that I have learnt a number of new skills (janitor, electrician, Mrs Fix-It Now) and, just recently, a new one: how to lie to Cold Callers.

Used by one of my other eccentric Belgian aunts quite successfully, (she pretended to be their Spanish cleaner), I have decided to reinstate this sneaky tactic for cold callers. I may be the President of AMB Cote d’Azur, but by George, I can metamorphose into a cranky old English charlady at the drop of a hat when “called upon”.

With the increase of annoying unsolicited telephone calls I’m finding that I’m honing my new skills to even greater heights and have them now quite polished.  After my unsolicited caller has rattled off their usual scripted spiel, I then launch into one of my own, stumbling around in badly spoken French, throwing in the odd word of English for effect, and generally pretending to be hard of hearing. This normally has the desired effect as they quickly come to realize that this tiresome woman hasn’t a clue what they’re on about and ring off pleasantly.

Yet there is a small band of more persistent cold callers who push their luck a little harder, some even daring to tell me that "Monsieur et Madame Barker" are  expecting their precious "pre-arranged" call and that we know all about it. At this point the devil in me simply can’t resist but flows into immaculate French, revealing that they’re actually speaking to the lady of the house and to basically, Fob Off. Which they do.

As I sit here at my computer and watch the number of spam emails tumbling into my Junk File, I truly regret not being able to use the same dastardly deed on them too  . . .